"Sit With It" -Adele

Adele is back. Adele just dropped an album while I am at the most vulnerable and emotionally fragile point in my life. Before the album released, she performed in front of a highly curated group of Hollywood peeps which was streamed alongside clips of her recent interview with the one and only, Oprah Winfrey. In true Adele fashion, she ended the night with some witty wisdom.  

“You can’t control bloody anything, so just go with it, sit with it, and have a laugh and enjoy everything.”

I usually find quotes like this cheesy but for some reason when it comes from Adele, it hits different. My reaction was the same as Melissa McCarthy’s. Only difference is she was actually there in real time, in the front row. While I was tucked in my bed like a burrito, watching from my laptop screen.

I am pretty good at rolling with the punches and have accepted most things these days are not going to go as planned. My dad taught me at a young age to always “improvise, adapt, overcome.” A common phrase among marines and the Lynch family. It is honestly hilarious the roller coaster my life has been in the past year. I never imagined myself living in California or graduating college in a bar.

I am a very “just go with it” person, almost to a fault at times. For example, this week I went to get my eyebrows done and somehow left with my entire face being waxed. I even got my nostrils waxed and honestly, I am here to spread the word that was the least painful part of the whole experience.

The next part of her quote “sit with it” really stood out to me. I never give myself time to process anything. I go from one thing to the next. I have been in survival mode the past few years and haven’t taken time to work through things in the past that needed to be addressed. Up until this point, I chose flight as my response mechanism. Turns out when you move to a new city you have a lot of time to “sit with it.”  

The past few months, I tried my hardest to avoid silence so I wouldn’t have to “sit with it.” Clearly you don’t have to be completely silent to do so, because Adele wrote some of her album during this phase. But I do think silence gives you a special space to think. I have never been great at being alone. I fill every silent opportunity with noise, so it feels like I have some form of company. I play music every time I drive, shower, run, or cook. I eat my dinner while watching a movie on Netflix. I call or text people to avoid having to entertain my own thoughts during my walk. On rare occasions, I even call people so I don’t have to fall asleep in silence. But it is hard to think things through when there is constantly background noise. I know some people are incredible multitaskers, but my brain does not work that way when it comes to sound.

I am trying to learn to “sit with it.” I need to eat dinner without a Netflix romantic comedy in the background. Which is for the best because my expectations of love were getting way to unrealistic. The chances of me meeting an undercover prince in Santa Cruz are very small (but it is not zero). I will attend the local chile cook off and town Christmas tree lighting ceremony just in case.

 Adele’s new album is making it very hard to not have music playing all the time. And I refuse to run/workout without music because I am not mentally tough enough to suffer through that pain in silence. To help me process my thoughts while I “sit with it”, I started to journal again, but this time more consistently.  I used to only journal when I was feeling the extremes. My entries from high school and college are dramatic masterpieces.  

I will always frequently call my people because I want to stay updated with their lives even if I’m far away (appreciate you all more than you will ever know). But I hope to be more intentional with my conversations and not have the convos while I am in transit. It is fine to want to call someone for some virtual company and to catch up, but I don’t want it to be a coping mechanism. And I have a habit of calling during a moment that is best with no distractions. For example, I called my friend this week while I was getting gas and ended up forgetting about the gas cap on the roof of my car. The result of my attempt at multitasking was my gas cap going on a journey across a 4 lane road after I pulled G’s while exiting the gas station.

AND finally, enjoy everything. Adele, I do have one follow up question when it comes to this part. Does everything even include a termite infestation? Asking for a friend.

Cheers,

E